If you tuned in to Tuesday night’s Dodgers game expecting ace-level arms and Hollywood endings… you might’ve thought you accidentally flipped to a Little League blowout.
In what can only be described as “pitching roulette gone wrong,” the Dodgers called up 26-year-old Matt Sauer—who sounds more like a guy who sells hot tubs at Costco than someone who should be throwing 111 pitches in a major league game. (That’s 29 more than he’s tossed in the past two years combined, FYI.)
When Sauer’s arm fell off—presumably—manager Dave Roberts turned to… wait for it… Enrique Hernandez. Yes, the guy who’s usually sliding into second base or cracking dad jokes in the dugout was suddenly throwing frisbees across the plate at a scorching 48 mph. Hernandez became the first Dodgers position player in 67 years to pitch more than two innings. And no, it wasn’t a prank—it was just Tuesday.
Meanwhile… In the Lab: Shohei Ohtani’s Cyborg Rebuild
While the Dodgers bullpen is being held together with duct tape and vibes, Shohei Ohtani is quietly cooking up something terrifying in the bullpen. He’s throwing simulated games like a mad scientist dialing in a doomsday device—topping out at 44 pitches this week with mid-to-upper 90s heat and a few breaking balls that could make a grown man weep.
Dodgers brass insists they’re being cautious. President Andrew Friedman practically read from a parenting book: “We’re not raising a short-term flamethrower here—we’re cultivating a nine-year pitching unicorn.” And hey, he’s not wrong.
Ohtani’s rehab isn’t just cautious. It’s borderline philosophical. He skipped playoff throwing, did surgery, treated spring training like yoga camp, and built back up slower than a tortoise on CBD. Even now, with the All-Star break looming, he’s still working toward a 70-pitch threshold. But make no mistake—the Shohei storm is coming.
So Why Not Just Let Him Rip?
Because Ohtani’s bat has been hot enough to toast marshmallows. Since 2023, he’s led the majors in home runs and ranks top 5 in almost every offensive metric that matters. The man is basically playing MLB The Show on rookie mode while rehabbing from major shoulder surgery. The Dodgers aren’t about to rush that kind of cheat code.
His steals are down (just 11 this year), possibly because he’s saving juice for the mound. But nobody’s complaining when he’s hitting .292 with a .625 slugging percentage and casually pacing for 54 bombs. The dude could carry a team on offense alone—which, judging by recent pitching performances, he just might have to.
The State of the Dodgers: One Arm Short of a Reliever Car Wash
To date, the Dodgers have used 30 pitchers—more than any team in the majors. Glasnow, Snell, Sasaki? All on the IL. Their bullpen leads the league in innings pitched, which is kind of like saying your office printer is the hardest worker at your company. Not ideal.
But lurking behind all this chaos is Ohtani, steadily rebuilding, throwing simulated games four hours before first pitch, then going 4-for-11 at the plate like it’s no big deal. The man’s got a fastball, a forkball, and a firmware update. He’s that in tune with his body. Strength coach Brandon McDaniel even said it’s like Ohtani has a dashboard readout of his engine in real-time. Is he human? TBD.
What Does This Mean for Bettors?
Simple. When Ohtani returns to the mound—and that day’s coming soon—it’s going to shift everything. Pitching depth, betting lines, over/unders, bullpen usage… the Dodgers will be a different beast. If you’re trying to profit off chaos (and who isn’t?), the smart bettor tracks when a team turns the corner.
So here’s your call to action:
👉 Ready to stop gambling and start strategizing?
👉 Want to know how to read through the noise and spot value underdogs?
👉 Curious how to consistently profit—without ever throwing 111 pitches yourself?
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